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riesshistoria:

are lesbian mermaids called h2omosexuals

basedpidgeot:

gf: babe come over

me (a lawnmower) : no i cant im cutting the grass and you live in the sky

gf: my parents are out

me: image

gaaraofsburbia:

applecranberry:

ruraljackdaw:

thetowndrugdealer:

*sucks guys dick*
*dies of nut allergy*

did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy

now I do